Should I Tell My Husband That My Sister Is Actually My Daughter?

I currently live in the UK and I am married to the most loving guy though all is not perfect at the moment but the dilemma now is that I am stuck between my mother, myself, my husband and our four months old baby and I really think I have made a very serious mistake courtesy of mother and all her advice.

I currently live in the UK and I am married to the most loving guy though all is not perfect at the moment but the dilemma now is that I am stuck between my mother, myself, my husband and our four months old baby and I really think I have made a very serious mistake courtesy of mother and all her advice.. Unknowingly to my husband I had a baby for my secondary school love just after I finish my SS3 exams in Nigeria, and with the help of my mother we were able hide this from everyone apart from my immediate family because my then boyfriend denied the pregnancy and my mother did not want word to get out the her most precious teenage child has become pregnant.
To cut the long story short, I gave birth to my first baby girl in a very small town in one of my mothers numerous friend’s village, and my mother flew me abroad shortly after, and my baby was given to an Orphanage home near Port Harcourt run by again one of my mother numerous friends.
My baby girl Uju who is almost 13yrs old was brought up at the orphanage until she was six years old, then my mother who had moved to Lagos return to PH, and adopted my little girl and even till today my little girl doesn’t know her mother she think my mother is the God sent woman who rescued her from the Orphanage and she is a good girl, she lives with my mum in PH as my junior sister and she calls me her elder sister.
I forgot to add that a childhood history is very similar to this, through my childhood I think my mum had at least four husband or live in partners, I have four siblings and only the two eldest are apparently from the same father, and all our fathers abandoned us and do not want any thing to do with us even to this day after establishing contacts with them when we grew into adults.
I only knew mine two years ago and I have made contacts but my real father is not interested at all, even to meet me or talk on the phone talkless of my mum, but my mum said that he has always been a bad man and that it is because she loved all of us that made her bring us up all alone by herself when all the men in her life left for dead.
In my early childhood I also was sent to the orphanage till about the age of four years before I was brought to a new house with my mum and siblings and we were calling my mum “aunty” because she had told her current boyfriend that we were her own younger siblings and she had lost her own parents and was charged with the responsibility of looking after all five of her younger brothers and sisters (three girls and two boys).
Things became ok for a while until my mum’s boyfriend found out and accused her of infidelity, my mother’s boyfriend who we used to call uncle threw all of us in the street in the full glare and jeers of the whole neighborhood, that day remains one of the most embarrassing days of life till date.
The funny thing is that I have sat down and looked at my mother’s life and I do not want to have that kind of life, today my mother can be said to be very comfortable but I do not think she is very happy, I think she is very lonely and unhappy though knowing my mum she will never admit, and out of all my mother’s children I am the only that seems to be doing ok, and this is mainly because of my husband, he has always been there for me from when I arrived in the UK every other person including my siblings agrees except my mum and she has always been trying to cause trouble between myself and my husband saying he is not good for me and that he is using me even after having a baby for him who is just four months old now, my mum is indirectly telling me to leave my husband of two years that my daughter and I will be better off without him and that I will have grave consequences in the future if I do not leave him on time that I will always find someone else that will love me more.
I know my husband very well and I think he will never forgive me nor will he forget because I cheated on him before while we were still dating and confessed and he made me swear that I was not hiding things and he forgave me.
He loves our baby girl so much that I am afraid the truth will deprive this young baby the enviable love of her father when the truth comes out, just like I myself lost out on my fathers affection due actions of my mother and I do not want this to continue to my daughter.
Please what should I do, should I tell my husband that the little girl that I told him was my younger sister in Nigeria is my daughter or should I keep mute, please don’t forget the first daughter does not yet know that I am her real mother.
Via Osun defender

RADICAL ECONOMIC POSTULATION : 50% OF CIVIL SERVANT MUST BE SACKED- CBN Governor Sanusi Lamido

RADICAL ECONOMIC POSTULATION :
50% OF CIVIL SERVANT MUST BE SACKED- CBN Governor Sanusi Lamido
28 Nov, 2012

Central Bank of Nigeria Governor Mallam Sanusi Lamido on Tuesday lamented the high cost of servicing the nation’s civil service and called on the Federal Government to fire at least 50 per cent of its entire workforce.

Sanusi, in his presentation at the Second Annual Capital Market Committee Retreat in Warri, Delta State, said the country spends 70 per cent of its earnings on salaries and entitlements of civil servants.

He argued that having the Federal Government’s staff strength reduced by half would free up capital for infrastructure development in the country and buoy the economy.

The CBN governor had in a lecture last year claimed that 25 per cent of the overheads of the Federal Government budget went to the National Assembly.

“Twenty five per cent of the overhead of the Federal Government budget goes to National Assembly. I have figures from the office of budget for the year 2010. Total government overhead is N536, 268,49, 280. Total overhead of the National Assembly is N136,259,768, 112 which is exactly 25.1 per cent of Federal Government overhead. The overhead of the National Assembly as a percentage of the Federal Government budget in 2009 was 19. 87 and in 2008 was 14.19”, he had said.

Sanusi, at the retreat on Tuesday, advocated a more compact and less expensive system of government that would reduce overhead costs.

He said, “At the moment 70 per cent of Federal Government’s revenue goes for payment of salaries and entitlement of civil servants, leaving 30 per cent for development of 167 million Nigerians. That means that for every naira government earns, 70 kobo is consumed by civil servants.

“You have to fire half of the civil service because the revenue of the government is supposed to be for 167 million Nigerians. Any society where government spends 70 per cent of its revenue on its civil service has a problem. It is unsustainable.

“The various tiers of government should cut down their recurrent expenditure and use the fund to provide basic infrastructure like schools, hospital, etc.

“How can we be using the proceeds from our major source of revenue to service recurrent expenditure, by paying salaries, allowances, etc. The country should be thinking of enhancing its productivity base rather than spending on things that cannot create wealth.”

Sanusi added that the country did not need over 100 senators, 400 members of the House of Representatives to make laws. He said when the expenses of lawmakers, civil servants and those in the executive arm of government are totalled, Nigerians will find out that their national revenue has been consumed by the Executive, lawmakers and civil servants.

He also faulted ‘wastage’ of funds on the maintenance of 774 Local Government Area chairmen, their aides, councillors and other appendages of the third tier of government.

“Do we need 774 LGAs? Do we need 36 states some of which are not viable? why not just remove them and have only state governments?,” he asked rhethorically.

According to him, “there are state governors whose monthly allocations are barely enough to pay salaries. I hear such governors complain and I say ‘why complain when the solution is simple?’ It is irresponsible to use all your money to pay salaries and wait for another month’s allocation and pay salaries and after four years, you would have done nothing.”

Sanusi also maintained that the Federal Government needed to totally remove petrol subsidy. He suggested that those who stole subsidy funds should be punished. He said, “People have the right to demand transparency. If you want to remove subsidy, you have to show what happened to those who stole.”

The CBN governor advised the Federal Government to stop investments on infrastructure that could be handed over to the private sector to run so that it (FG) can concentrate on building of schools, health centres and the provision of other social services.

via Punch

Remembering The Old Musician… Ligali Alade Adebayo Mukaiba

Remembering The Old Musician…

Ligali Alade Adebayo Mukaiba

Ligali Alade Adebayo Mukaiba was a popular musician between 1945-1980. He was a native of Ajagannabe area of Epe, Lagos State. He was born on April 5th, 1924. His father’s name was Ismaila Sanni Mukaiba and his mother’s name was Sariu Mukaiba both from Epe. Because his father was a fisherman, he learnt fishing from his father before he moved to learn tailoring in the late 30s’. Due to some downwards in tailoring work, he crossed over to music and he started Apala music as career in 1945 and no  account pointed that he learn music from anybody.

 Among his contemporaries in Apala music were Alhaji Alabi Elewuro and Salau Onisakara all from Epe. Ligali Mukaiba and Alabi Elewuro competition was said to divide Epe indigenes into two in which Ligali Mukaiba belongs to Ijebu Epe supporters and Alabi Elewuro belongs to Eko Epe supporters.

Ligali association with kwara elites’ like Chief Abu Olododo makes his music famous among the kwaras. His music was also famous among Ijebu Ode people that until his death, one of his records was promoted by Sanuolu Records at Ijebu Ode.

 He married four wives; Memunot from Epe, Rabiat from Epe,Halimot from Ijebu Iwopin, Ogun waterside and Rasheedat from Ode also from Ijebu, Ogun waterside. He has twenty two children and four of them are presently musicians; Saheed Ligali Mukaiba( Apala musician), Shamsudeen Mukaiba ( Apala & Fuji musician), Hakeem Ligali Mukaiba (Apala musician) and Isa Mukaiba ( Apala&Fuji musician)

His record is over hundred and some of them are now on CD&VCD.

He died on June 22^nd, 1984 at 60 years.

Way Forward On Nigeria Education- Murisik Taiwo Balogun

Mr  Murisiq Taiwo Balogun is the education secretary of Ifako Ijaye Local Government, Lagos.He graduated from the then Ogun state university now Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ago Iwoye, Ogun State. He bagged master degree in education administration from University of Lagos (Unilag).He told us some of  the responsible factors for declining in Nigeria Education system. He told our team of how he become the education secretary when we visited him in his office.

Sir, you are the education secretary of Ifako Ijaiye local government, can you tell us the journey to this post?

The journey to this post is competitive and political. In 1997, I vied for the post of House of Representative from this local government and I couldn’t make it, so I decided to wait for God time. When the education secretary post was vacant, I submitted my Curriculum Vitae (CV) since I have all the required qualifications. So at the interview, eleven of us were the candidate and fortunately, I have worked with many of the interviewers in different capacity at the State Universal Basic Education Board (SUBEB). After the interview, Alhaji Adeleke of blessed memory took me to Engineer Rauf Aregbesola and he told me that, I shouldn’t worry since I have all the required qualifications. I later went to see Cardinal Odumbaku(Baba Eto) and to  the glory of God, I was picked. My appointment letter was then sent to my local government and Mr. Doherty, the executive chairman of Ifako Ijaye local government and Mr Olabinjo, the executive chairman of Ojokoro local council development area (LCDA) signed my letter. I thank them all.

The recent declining in Nigeria Education system is worrisome, what do you think as education secretary and administrator is responsible for the problem?

I think Nigeria is facing problem on every sectors and education sector is not exceptional. Tell me which one of our sector is working well? Is it the power sector or health? So I think the problem facing education sector can be best `being described as a collective of a whole. The entire problem facing other sector will still be blamed on education sector. They will tell you that the teacher is not dispensing good teaching and that is the reason we are having half baked students and graduates. But they will not talk about unpaid incentives that can motivate teachers to go extra mile to teach students. When last did the government give teachers rice and milk at festive period as they do in the past? Teacher’s salary is token and many of them retired without anything to fall back to. So let government begins the practical implementation of some programs like mortgage loan for teacher, training and re-training  and other things, you will see a lot of complimentary effort from the teachers. Lagos state is even trying, but they still need to do more. They should improve more on modernizing education infrastructures and build more schools because Lagos population on education is increasing everyday.

Even if government do all that, do you think the students doesn’t have any work to do as well?

Not only the students including the parents. Some parents are not care about the performances of their wards in the school. Many of them did not even have the time. They go to work very early in the morning and return in the late night. All of us have work to do. The parents must be concerned about the education of their children. They must find time to come to their children school and make enquiry about their performances. We understand the economic situation of the country, but they need to know how their children are doing in the school. The students on their part must be commited to their reading. Some of them are not suppose to be in the university or polytechnic. Some of them suppose to in technical school. Parents need to change their approach towards education if we want this country education to go back to its glossy days. Not all students have the intellectuality of going to the higher institution, but because of the emphasize we laid on tertiary education, parents at times manipulate processes for their children and you will see such student fumbling when admitted into the university.

You are very famous with the executive governor of Osun State Engineer Rauf Aregbesola, how will you describe him and what is your relationship with him?

I can tell you that Engineer Rauf Adesoji Aregbesola is my boss and my father. He is such a nice man and straightforward person. He believes in the youth and if he knows you, he will use all what he had to support you. He is a leader and organizer and he never look down on anybody. He is humble and a listening leader. Somebody took me to him as I said and ever since then he has done a lot of things for me and I will never forget him. I am just one of many he has helped and I wish him fulfillment, joy and happiness as governor and person.

Can you share with us the big challenge you ever faced?

I have started living as an independent person even while I’m still living with my parents. My father of blessed memory paid all my school fees from 100-400 level when I was in the university. But I have to get other things myself like foodstuff, underwear, provision and cloth. So during the holiday, I involved in many things like bus conductor and travelling to cotonou to buy things and sold here. So the experience then was terrible .Another thing is that I lose my first wife who had my first son and that really posed a serious challenge on me but today I thank Allah.

What next are you looking up to after the education secretary?

Any post that can make me to serve my people better

The Cost of Failed Infrastructure On Nigeria Economy

Everywhere you go to in the country, the same cry is taken up by the people from Lagos to Kano, from Kano to Port Hacourt. Inadequate infrastructure makes consumers to pay more on goods and services. The production firms and business entities will tell you that they have right to charge more because they pay more money to buy diesel to power their generator and they pay more money to repair trucks  because of the bad roads.

One business man revealed that in Nigeria , business men pays more to transport goods from the seaports than the money they paid to bring the same goods from Asia or Europe to Nigeria. “Whereas we pay US $50 to ship something from Asia to Lagos, it costs us an additional $150 to transport that same  item from Lagos to Maiduguri. A large portion of that cost results from poor infrastructure”

Another reason why the consumers pay more is the way we carry out operation in our seaport. Until the recent time when a committee to reform Nigeria seaport inaugurated by President Jonathan, Nigeria seaport is the only seaport in the world that doesn’t operate 24 hours services. Cost on goods start mounting the moment the ships arrive. Nigeria ports are jammed because they don’t operate work 24 hours basis. It takes 30-37 days to clear goods in Lagos compared to 2 hours in Singapore. The port reform committee inaugurated by the president has within is mandate to ensure 24 hours operation and to clear  tankers off Apapa Oshodi expressway; a road which has become a nightmare for the road users and property along that axis is losing value as gridlock continues in the area. But the spate in which the committee inaugurated has worked with the cleaning off Oshodi Apapa expressway, seizure of abandoned sixty tankers and reduction of the clearing days from 37 days to 7 days for now but still working to meet up with the 2 days clearing target while inaugurated sends a right signal.

Poor infrastructure means that Nigeria runs low-wages and high cost economy. For instance, erratic power supplies forces many firms in Nigeria to operate their own generator. These are not only inefficient compared to centralised power systems, they often stand idle. If power  supplying is stable, employers can increase wages with 20-30% because they will save more money and the capital tied up on the sustenance of business in the face of poor infrastructures would be used for business expansion.

If roads are networking with good and motorable condition. The pressures on the existing roads would be minimal and the money which companies pays to repair trucks due to the bad roads will be used on other things even be chanelled to social responsibilities.

THE RISING CASE OF BRAIN DISORDER AMONG YOUTH. A Case study of Agege, Lagos State

THE RISING CASE OF BRAIN DISORDER AMONG YOUTH.

A Case study of Agege, Lagos State

Agege is one the ancients cities of Lagos which covers Iju, Ishaga, Alagbado and some part of Ikeja before It was reduced to what it is now. Today, all he above mentioned places has been carved out of Agege to form another local governments at the time Lagos increases in population and economy. Statistically, Agege is said to be almost 250,000 populated with the large settlement of the Hausas around Moricas/Alfa Nla, Kwakwa Uku and Mosalasi Alhaja all in Agege. Other tribes like the Igbos, Tapas, Nigers and more tribes were among the people that made up Agege. The old and the new Abeokuta motor road and the railway line that passed through  Agege to the northern part of the country are some of the factors that thumbs up Agege economy especially at the time the rail system s at its optimal function in the country. The Aworis are believed to be the first habitats of Agege and their mainstay is the ancient area like Orile Agege, Isale Oja and Atobaje. Agege has two paramont kings which are oba of Orile Agege who exercise his domineering across Orile Agege and oba of Agege who is incharge of Agege respectively.

The major issue that warranted the above historical exposition is the increament of brain disorder among youth in Lagos State and Agege in particular. A walk from Oja oba down to Agege Pen cinema and other places in Agege will make you see nothing less than different five youth mainly boys with brain disorder. A close observation on the cause of this menace was the heavy consumption of assorted illicit drugs that include mainly India hemp, amphetamine and heroin which later resulted into addiction and brain disorder.

In one area called Oke-Koto for instance,many of the hausa boys both rich and pior were addicted to substances that refered to as volatile substances or oinhalant which could be fume from petrol, glue, gum, chemicals and codeine in some medicines.They inhale these substances directly or pour them on pieces of clothing which they put over their nose and inhale. They also pour the substance on water proof bag.

Another substance which is cheaper and commonly used as drug among the youth of this area is the lizard excrement. One of them who is under care after a minor brain disorder told us that lizard excrement when mixed with Alabukun powder and Robin Blue produces a strong effect similar to the one produced by a heavy consumption of whisky. According to one online expert, the white portion of the dropping (the lizard excrement) is a killer drug. When inhaled or taken orally They caused rise in blood levels, producing an effect akin to the intensity produced also resembles inebriation. The effect of these drugs when taken by these boys is either abnormal calmness, dazzing for almost  one hour nuisance or brain disorder.

The price of drugs due to its abuse around this area especially with medicine with codeine has seriously gone up. Cough syrup like benylin and totolin as they called it was sold between 600-900 naira instead of 200-300 naira. The pharmacists around this area don’t just sell these drugs to anybody except those who used it to “high” themselves. Many of these boys will shook the bottles of these and drink the whole bottles right in front of the pharmacy in most cases. Some of them takes as many as five bottles on daily basis.

Differently, the Yoruba boys of this area who are drug addicted are famous with India hemp, alcohol and heroin. The peddling of these drugs around AP petrol station, Isale Oja, Akerele, Total petrol station and many other places makes the assessment easier for these youths especially the commercial bus drivers among them. Many of these boys, in fashion out their own way of being addicted, soaks India hemp inside high alcoholic volume whisky before consumption. Some of them goes for heroin and they even go to the extent of stealing if they don’t have money to buy it which is between 500-1500 naira per wrap. Examples of not less that thirty men and fifteen women around AP petrol station  and Akerele (the place where the drug peddling is rampant in Agege) who has either completely ran mad or semi-mad testifies to the affirmation of drug addiction as the major cause of insanity among the youths of this area.

On the other things which the drug does to the system, the drug affects the reward system of the brain to the extent that when the drug addicted person don’t get  the drug, it begins to affect them. To satisfy their drug addiction ego, they takes up other substance that is cheaper to the one they used to. So this exposed many of them to the consumption of multiple substances which ranged from cocaine, heroin, codeine, cannabis and alcohol at the same time. This according to the experts makes the drug addicts person vulnerable to brain problems.

In averting this menace, the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) despite the existing laws that restrain people from abusing drugs should intestify more effort on orientation for these youths the Lagos state government should also makes use of direct campaign against drug abusing to compliment its media campaign. The society and the religious leaders of where drug abuse rampant in the state should engage these youths and make them understand the negative effect of drug addiction and abuse. If all these  are not done on time, there is possibility that Agege might soon top the list of the areas with the highest intoxicants because  everyday these youths come up with new and easy way to go about intoxicating themselves.

FEMI OPABUNMI; FORMER NIGERIA STAR GOES BLIND AND HE CRIED FOR HELP.  NIGERIAN SHOULD  HELP HIM.
@www.omojuwa.com


Femi Opabunmi: A sad story Nigerians can re-write

This is a sad story about Femi Opabunmi. I am sure you will remember him. He played U17 for Nigeria and also played at 2002 World Cup in Korea/Japan…he’s losing his sight. He has been getting some support in piece meals. He needs help urgently and it’d help to amplify his cry for help to those in the football authority and well meaning Nigerians.

Read words from Femi Opabunmi, former U-17 player who played for Nigeria at the 2001 FIFA U-17 World Championship, Trindad and Tobago, where he scored a hat-trick against Australia and won himself the Silver Shoe as second highest goals corer and also the Bronze Ball as third best player in the tournament.

Femi was a participant at the 2002 FIFA World Cup playing against England in the last group stage match becoming the 3rd youngest player to ever play in the World Cup finals after Norman Whiteside and Samuel Eto’o.

“In December 2006, I was training one day when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my eyes. I could not see the ball again,”

“My vision became blurred and I decided to see an optician. The woman told me that in a few days, I could be blind if I did not have surgery, I went for it and the surgeon said it was a success.”

” The bill was so much that I was forced to contact a few of my friends. Osaze Odemwingie and Seyi Olofinjana responded by sending some money to me. Others did not even reply my mails or called to know how I was feeling.”

“I was expecting to see again but there was no improvement. I visited the doctor and other hospitals in Paris without a solution. They told me that my problem was a complex case that I was too young for such a painful experience”.

On returning home…

“I went to Ojulowo Eye Clinic in Ibadan but I had no money to pay
the bill. When Onigbinde heard about my return to Nigeria, he called me and helped me. He paid my bill at Ojulowo but the problem was only solved halfway”.

A couple of weeks back it was reported the Honourable Dapo Lam Adeshina gave the for Shooting Stars player 500,000 naira.

The player truly needs assistance from all football loving Nigerians.

He will surely appreciate it. You can contribute your own quota to his account First bank Account No: 3058788201 Name: Opabunmi Femi.

PS: His sight is abnormal and extremely poor especially at night (Total blindness can still be avoided)

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

"The last time i was in Malaysia, i was marveled at the level of progress recorded in that country in the last 20 years. Out of curiousity, i asked  my counterpart there how his country was able to achieve this giant stride. The answer he gave me was simple; just take a look at  the educational sector where we have achieved 96 per cent literacy. It was because we focused on it. That was why we are able to make it".

- Dr. Shamsudeen Usman, National Planning Minister

BEAUTIFUL NUBIA TALK ABOUT HIS CHILDHOOD;DEBUNKED THE RUMOUR OF BEING A WOMANIZER

I have heard many rumours about how much of a ladies’ man I am. In actual fact, a young journalist told me a couple of years back that she’d heard that I had fathered about 7 children with as many different women on as many continents (the intrepid world traveller that I am, eh?). That was news to me – I thought media folks were in the business of telling the news, not making it up! Well, they do seem to make up a lot of the news you see on TV these days…

I can accept the title of ladies’ man, but I am definitely not a womanizer. I am too serious, too focused on my work, too straight and honest to play that game. But I do love women and I enjoy nothing more than being in the company of a lovely lady listening to music and just “being”. I have always loved women. Since childhood, my favourites have always been the women. I was the proverbial tied-to-mummy’s-apron-strings kind of child. Wherever my mother went, I went along, and try separating me from her! Even Baba Ghana, the old Ghanaian man who taught me my first alphabets and numbers learnt quickly that I would follow him to his nursery only after having been plied with gifts.

I have met and been enriched by my association with so many great women, but the most important and influential, by far, are my mother (MaSegun) and late maternal grandmother (MamaAgba) – these two, in many ways, are responsible for the basic building blocks of my moral fibre. MamaAgba it was who taught me the basics of traditional African communalism and the essential values of humility, selflessness, good neighbourliness, non-materialism and love for people and nature. MaSegun was the one who infused in me a burning ambition to keep improving myself and not accept cheap limits. She also inculcated in her children the importance of being honest, hardworking, upstanding and proud. My parents broke up when I was barely 10 and I never lived with my mother or my grandmother again, but those early lessons have stood me in good stead until today; I keep passing them on to millions of people through my music and writings, and on to my own children in private, intimate moments.

Aside from these two titans, my success and standing in society today owes a lot to the good people who taught me in primary and secondary school. Mrs. Ayoola was an old lady to whose care I was entrusted after school hours, five days a week, between the ages of 7 and 8. Her job was to ensure that I got some discipline and took extra lessons in Arithmetic and English. She did a good job. By 3rd year primary school I had learnt how to sit still in class and pay attention to the lessons. Prior to that, especially in my first year, all I did was wait until the teacher had turned her back before wriggling out of the room through a hole in the wooden wall. I’d go out and play and my school uniform would be all brown with dust by closing time. My report card at the end of those early school terms was nothing spectacular; I stalled in the mid-range of performance. But after those few months with Mrs. Ayoola, I became an A student, often in one of the first five positions. By my 4th year, I was fully entrenched as the candidate to beat. I took 1st position in every test and major examination until I left that school and the trend continued in high school. Eventually, others started to take it for granted that little Akinlolu would take 1st anyway, and they settled on competing for the other “vacant” positions.

Mrs. Ayoola belonged to a generation of teachers who took their jobs seriously, who did not see their work as a burden, who believed that it was a honour and joy to have the opportunity to prepare the children for the future, and who were not basically concerned with their salary or what other business they had going on the side. You do have to feel pity for the children of the poor in Nigeria today: they have to go on empty stomachs to schools with crumbling infrastructure where the teacher does not always show up, and when she does, it is to sell whatever wares someone just brought back from Dubai. The children of the rich attend these insanely expensive schools but are they much better off? Today’s children have to endure dry, lifeless academic work, inorganic playtime and sports sessions and pretentious love from staff whose only interest is in the pay. They are forced into school as early as age 2 and are denied essential cultural education. These children are missing out on childhood! Nigeria and other countries in many parts of Africa need curriculum renewal and a total overhaul of the education system. This is something I am very passionate about, but it is doubtful that such change will come under the present non-creative and blind political leadership..

Mrs. Ayoola was the first in a long line of female teachers I was blessed with. I was for, more than once, a teacher’s pet, the favourite whom no one could punish, the one who could never do wrong. In high school I met another very influential lady. Her name was Ogbechie when I first met her, Stella Ogbechie. She was a strikingly beautiful and elegant woman who took me under her wings when I was about 14 going on 15 and in high school. She was the English teacher who once told me I wrote better English that she did. She encouraged my creative writing, would actually challenge me to keep writing and somehow was able to cut through my shyness and convinced me to let her read those early manuscripts. She was more than a teacher; she was a friend, an encouragement coach, a believer and big sister all rolled into one. How I loved that woman!

The other day I had a group of friends over at my place for dinner which I had made myself. The general consensus (post-beer and wine) was that the food was great and the folks wanted to know how I came about such high culinary skills. I explained that I had spent a lot of time in kitchens over the years watching women cook and asking questions. Add to that my natural creativity and love of experimenting and you’ve got a good cook there. I have always gravitated towards the women, put me in a crowd even today and I will eventually end up amongst the ladies – this is not because I do not like men. I was equally influenced by many men while growing but the women had the more profound impact. And while men are likely to be competitive and find my dreamy ideas quite challenging, the women are always more accepting, encouraging and supportive.

So, is the attraction mutual? I’d say yes, I am as attracted to the female folk as they are to me. And I don’t think it’s got anything to do with my supposed good looks, intelligence or wit, I think it has more to do with a sense of commonality. My mother did believe for the longest time that I was an abiku, a reincarnation of the little girl she lost at only 9 months. So perhaps in a previous life I was a woman. In 2001, I had the opportunity of travelling in a southern African country and one of my hostesses, seeing how young ladies would flock around me each evening for long chats, labelled me a chick magnet. Yes, I kind of prefer that to “ladies’ man”.